Kids and moving - it's difficult and once all the packing and moving is completed, now they need to settle into the new space. For children and teens, this may be the hardest adjustment they have to make. Saying goodbye to old friends was difficult, but the excitement of moving to a new home, a new neighborhood can sometimes reduce the initial anxiety they might feel.
So, to help them make an easier transition, here are some tips and suggestions that you can plan to incorporate into the first few weeks after you've moved.
Take a Tour
Even if your family has seen the house before, take a tour. Walk them through the space discussing what each room will be, describing how it'll look, what activities will happen there and asking what each member thinks about organizing the space. Cover every room, including the yard and garage, then let them take their own time to explore it. Some families I know suggest playing hide and seek or tag; a game that encourages children to explore. A game that usually works quite well is to create a list of questions that the family members need to answer. Make it like a treasure hunt, with teams and prizes. Examples of questions are: which room is the largest?, which room faces northeast and has two closets?, how many bricks are on the front of the fireplace? This is fun way to find out more about your home and to explore its every surface.
An Essential Box is Essential
Make sure every member of the family packed an essentials box for themselves. For kids and teens this should include their favorite things, whether its music, games, books, journals or pictures, encourage them to pack everything together so that all the things that are meaningful for them can be unpacked first. For most moves, I make sure that everyone takes this box with them instead of with the movers (if that's feasible), just to make each member feels a little sense of home their first night.
Plan a Party
Now, you're probably thinking that there's no way you'll host a party the first night in your new home. And I agree. What works in our house, is to plan a special family night for that first night. Usually, each member gets to choose what kind of food they'd like to eat and we order some of each as take-out or delivery. We get out the candles (packed into the essentials box - the primary box for the entire family), put a blanket on the floor, and have a picnic in our new home. Our talk usually centers around what is exciting about the move, what they already miss from home and finishes off with plans for the next week or so. Not only does everyone feel supported by each other, but each person's excitement fuels the group and we usually saunter off to bed thinking of all the good things that this move has or will bring about.Same families I know take this time to get to know their neighborhood. They take a drive in the evening to check things out, stop for food, do a little shopping or strolling, go for ice cream or whatever favorite thing your kids like to do. This can also be a great way to bond; to create special memories of your first night in your new neighborhood. Again, whatever your family likes to do together, try to do. And make it special.
Unpack the Kids' Rooms First
The first room you should really unpack is the kitchen, so I usually just unpack the basics - the things we'll need for the next few days. After the essential kitchen items are unpacked, start with the kids' rooms. Getting each child to unpack their own stuff (with help, of course) and talking to them about how they'd like their room arranged (if this hadn't been pre-planned earlier), will help them feel like the new space is theirs. Unpacking pictures or posters or making their beds with their favorite blankets will help them have sweeter dreams that first night. Usually the rule is, the sooner a child's room is unpacked, the quicker they'll adjust to the space - it's just common sense.
Get Back into Routine ASAP
Most people like routine, especially children and teens. For the first night, you may let the younger members of your family stay up a little longer just to make the night special, but after that, it's important to establish a daily routine. Keep bedtime hours, mealtimes and playtimes consistent. This will help everyone to feel more settled. It's difficult enough to have had their lives disrupted by a move, but to disrupt the daily schedule is even more detrimental; if children are acting out, try normalizing your day. If you used to take the kids to the park in the afternoons, find a local park and reschedule this into your day. I know it's tough - especially for the parent who's at home trying to put the house in order - but part of the moving in process is also settling in the family. In addition, each parent needs to take this time out, too, to enjoy the new home and neighborhood.If you can afford it, consider hiring professional unpackers to help; what may take you days or weeks to complete, unpackers can complete in a day.
Making Your Child Comfortable in Their New Room
Younger children will probably be scared about sleeping in their new rooms. To make them feel more comfortable, try to arrange the room as close as possible to the old room; keep items that were visible in the old space visible in the new. Walk them through the space, introducing them to every corner and wall and closet shelf. Talk about the things that could go there or the differences between the old room and new room. Try to get your child to express what they like better about the new room, whether it's bigger or faces the garden or is painted a prettier color; thinking positive about the space will help them feel safe and secure.Also, if children aren't familiar with the house (you didn't have time to play any familiarization games), make sure you walk them through their area of the house. Do this a few times so they feel comfortable knowing where the bathroom is, knowing where you're sleeping and which rooms are around them. Plug in nightlights or keep a soft light on in the bathroom just to help them adjust for the first few nights.
